i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
