Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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