Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
