Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
