I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
