Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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