I wanna passion pit in your ass
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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