I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
