if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
