I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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