after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
