so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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