There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
