If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
