ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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