people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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