trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
