U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
