Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
