Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Buhtt sex?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
