I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize