please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
