Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if only i could text you this smell
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
