I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
