I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize