ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
