boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i came on her dog
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
