We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
