My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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