The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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