I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
