Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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