I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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