you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
