if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Everything about him screamed your future.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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