I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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