Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
