his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize