I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
