the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
honey bunches of taint.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
40s are totally the cure
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
