He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
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