that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize