thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
