You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I could fuck to npr.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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