If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
