Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize