I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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