You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
