i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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