Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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