i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
