Cold hands, warm shart.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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