Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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