May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
