So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
