If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
being pregnant is like rehab
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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