They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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