Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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