Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
