But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
