i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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