youre lurking in front of me
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
