we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I cockslap morals
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
