i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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