and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
