I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
