margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
