i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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