He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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