we have officially lost it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
